Orlane, my caring protector
Hello everyone, today we gonna discuss a special topic. I chose it personally, just for me, or rather, just to talk about her. This article sounds like a memory that would be reported in the diary, but I prefer to write it in this section to remind there are still good vibes to come with this special person, and it will probably one of the few articles that contrast with my provocative tone in Pause Café.
Today, with a touch of sentimentalism, I’ll address two messages: a letter to Orlane, my big sister from another mother, and a story for you, readers, who will share my emotions towards this person. To be honest, I don't think at all she does expect something like that. She is probably light-years away from always thinking about me, but I am already used to the idea that I love her more than she loves me. And if you read Shining in the New World, you can easily connect the reference : this is the same Orlane who told me “You a kind one, it shows”.
Orlane is a girl I met when I arrived in Portugal. As I discovered part of the vastness of the world by traveling abroad for the first time, and moreover, to settle there, it was discreetly that I discovered a girl who was temporarily staying in the same hotel as me. In fact, on the same floor, right across from my room. I remember that we quickly started a group conversation since we were expatriates who were going to start together in the same company, which had provided us with this temporary hotel room. From then on, everything happened very quickly: our characters, although very different, seemed to click, and we became attached right away.
Although we were separated due to our respective training groups, we always met at the hotel in the late afternoon and spent the evening there: between conversations, music, and games with other friends (we won't say colleagues), these were mundane moments, but with a certain charm that brought us closer together.
In her daily life, Orlane is a sweet and particularly caring girl. Being a big sister has probably influenced her great generosity. She made sure all my needs were met: that I was in good shape, that I had eaten well, that I was in a good mood, she always looked out for others and for me, whom she called "my son," and she paid special attention to me when I was feeling down. She was taking care of me like my sister of blood, who is 11 years older and to whom I'm also kinda a son since my birth, while on her side, Orlane is only 2 years older than me. Hence the title "My little big sister".
You remember the day when the girl I liked rejected me, saying she had "too much respect for me to consider anything” I also mentioned in Shining in the New world ? Yes, the most absurd reason I've ever heard, but in that emotional turmoil, that heartbreak that somehow baptized my life as a grown boy turning young adult, my new friends and Orlane were there for me.
In my pain, even in my whim, I withdrew into myself. It was very hard, and I didn't want to show myself to others when I was still so vulnerable. In the solitude I sank into, Alexia, Claude, then Orlane tried to bring me out. The firsts, with the optimism of youth full of opportunities for new encounters, and then my new mom, in a softer tone, who just wanted me to stay with her in her room. It was at that moment, when these three were talking to me, without even reacting, pretending to sleep in my deep depression and unbearable pain, that I realized I was well, very well surrounded.
Orlane is someone who is deeply kind. Always available for others, with a heart so gentle that the most atrocious and vile person could not harm her. With her, I feel like what Asta does for Sister Lily, in Black Clover, that’s the same kind of relationships. Like my birthday twin — and one of my favorite manga heroes ever — if I could marry her, I would. And not a coincidence, when we know Orlane is wearing that same Muslim full covering dress like Sister Lily, Christian, and me, share with Asta the same birth date.
With my unmanageable character, I sometimes showed misbehave towards her. I refused help and remained silent when she extended her hand, fearing that accepting help would call into question all my strengths and qualities. Whereas today, I am perfectly sure that I would be much stronger with Orlane by my side. During those few months we spent together, even though we saw each other less and less often, her kindness and love always managed to soothe my heart and bring me comfort. Orlane is a girl who showed patience and care, and it is almost with regret that I sometimes think about all the time that separates us. This article is an attempt to compensate, as much as possible, for the void she left in me, or rather the one our separation imposed on us.
I need this person to take care of this vulnerability and highly clumsy character of mine, and in Orlane, I had found the right person to take care of me, beyond this ability we have to heal and be well on our own. We all need an Orlane in our lives.
Orlane, I ask for your forgiveness for all these whims and grumpy episodes when you have always been the best character in my story since I left my mom. I want you to know that I think of you constantly and that, no matter what happens, I will always love you.
Wilou, your loving son.
